Create Pinoy Blog
I recently attended a birthday lunch hosted by a good friend here in
Sydney. Menchie Montierro turned 47, which according to some lifestyle
experts – if a person reasonably takes care of herself in today’s
world – would only be equal to 37.
Why, because, presumably, the current generation is better fed with
proper nutrition, and unlike the generation before it, is generally
non-smoking. Furthermore, it benefits from more inoculations, fluoride,
mega-vitamins, and was ’saved’ just in time from the dangers of lead
paint and sweets that destroy teeth and bodies and a host of other ills
uncovered by new medical discoveries.
If you imbibed all the stuff that’s good for you and avoided smoking
and the other bad habits that have been declared dangerous by the
medical world, and you exercise – Congratulations! You are ten years
younger than your birth certificate says.
But even if biologically, one may be younger than one’s real age, a
lot of people still feel old after they pass the 40 mark. It’s probably
because the world is being configured more and more as a young people’s
playground. All of the marketing tools of advertising, media, and even
lifestyle gurus seem to believe that the main market these days is the
‘youth’ market. Everyone else is part of the secondary, or worse, the
‘fringe’ market.
And yet, as you talk to people old and young, you realize that there
is an irony here. While the world belongs to the youth, the young
everywhere are in a rush to get older, and the old who are nearing
‘older’ are anxiously trying to do their best to delay getting there
for as long as they can. The young want the status and the authority
that comes with age, while the elders want the free spirit and the
youthful energy that fuels not just the raging hormones of young
people, but also their dreams and aspirations.
There are some things we must keep in mind at all times that should
serve us throughout our lives, regardless of how old we may be. This
article is about the habits we could develop starting at any age if we
want to live out the rest of our days in a happier, healthier and more
well-rounded way. Here a few tips to stay ahead of our real age, not
just biologically but in all other aspects.
1. Say ‘yes’ to the unknown.
Let’s face it, the world is changing at such a fast pace that we are
almost always finding ourselves in a new place. As Yogi Berra said it,
‘The future ain’t what it used to be.’ I can still remember life
without the internet, cell phones and a host of other stuff. As a young
man in my 20’s, I thought I was way cool since I had a beeper on my
belt and a CB radio in my car. I thought then that I was a very
contemporary dude living in the cusp of modernity. But alas, the
essence of modernity is that it is perpetually in a transient state.
Post-modernism will always barge into our comfort zone and rearrange
the furniture, or even throw them out and bring in new ones.
To resist change is futile. We either ride it or get left behind.
And riding it means giving an affirmative response to new things that
appear on our horizon. There will always be an unknown quantity in our
lives. So the more we embrace the unknown, the more we grow into
complexity and the better we become adept at embracing even more of it.
Many times, I find familiarity in new things or what used to be ‘the
unknown’, and this happens every time I embrace and accept something
new. Once I stop resisting, it immediately becomes a part of me. Once
we integrate change, it’s hard to imagine life without it. The unknown,
I believe, is just another aspect of ourselves waiting to introduce
itself to us.
2. Eat, drink and take in only what’s good for you.
A lot of people I know who are not yet what to me is ‘old’ already
suffer from a host of illnesses like gout, kidney stones, liver damage,
emphysema and a host of other serious health problems. Though some of
them may blame the genes they were born with, I suspect that a lot of
it is caused by believing too much in the invincibility of their youth
as they indulged in mindless consumption of food and substances even
when they knew these were not good for them.
At my age (47 or less, biologically speaking), I am grateful I had
the discipline and the common sense to stop smoking early in my
twenties. I also did to not get into the habit of binge drinking,
indulging recklessly in drugs, or eating a lot of stuff that was not
good for me. I never really ate a lot of the bad stuff like chicharon,
lechon, fatty stuff. I always know when I have had enough. I even went
vegetarian once for a year and a half, but stopped when I felt that my
muscle mass was shrinking in spite of exercise.
Yet, it is not impossible for me to get sick suddenly since my genes
make me prone to certain illnesses. But as much as I can help it, I try
to stick to a good, non-toxic diet. People like to argue that we only
live once, in order to justify the awful things they put into their
bodies. I argue back that if indeed we are only to live once, it is
better to enjoy life with a healthy functional body.
3. Get educated constantly
More than any time in history, more people past 50 are going back to
school to earn a new degree or to undergo training to embark on a new
career. I have met a lot of people my age or older who are considering
going back to the academic world for personal growth. Whether one does
it for career advancement or for sheer enjoyment of learning does not
matter. What counts is that one continues to absorb new stuff and apply
it to one’s life. And one need not go back to school to do this. All
one has to do is to develop the love for learning new things.
One of the most disempowering clichés that grates the core of my
sensibilities is the one that says, ‘You can’t teach an old dog new
tricks’. I don’t believe age is the factor that prevents us from
learning. While it is true that our brain cells diminish as we get
older, I believe that it is more laziness, or even stubborness that
prevents us from learning anything. By all accounts, being lazy or
stubborn is not an exclusive trait of the aging. Try talking to young
people and you will know what I mean.
4. Be forgiving of yourself and of others.
Letting go of resentments, hurts, traumas and other toxic baggage is a
wonderful way to ‘refresh’ one’s life. It erases the slate and one can
start anew. It’s like dropping a heavy burden, sprinting towards life’s
challenges and feeling the wind on one’s face instead of the fear and
loathing that comes with harboring ill feelings. When we forgive, we
cut the strings that bind us to the person we hate. We are free.
Dr. M. Scott Peck, in his book What Return Can I Make?, tells the
story of a young Filipina, age 9, who claimed to talk to Jesus.
Naturally, in no time at all, she became a sensation and there were
hordes of people visiting her and wanting ‘blessings’ from someone who
was in contact with God Himself. The bishop in the area was naturally
worried and sent a priest to investigate.
The priest then visited the girl and asked her if she would be
talking to Jesus soon. The girl answered, ‘Hopefully’. The priest then
instructed the girl to ask Jesus what his (the priest) sins were since
he would be going to confession in a few days, and to tell him what
Jesus says.
A few days later, the priest returned to the girl and he asked her
if she had indeed met with Jesus again. She responded affirmatively.
Next, he asked her if she had inquired from Jesus what his sins were,
and again she said ‘yes’. When he pressed the girl to tell him what
Jesus said his sins were, she told him that all Jesus said was, ‘I
forgot.’
We all know intellectually that to forgive is the way to go but we
all hesitate to do it, or never get to do it at all. Yet when we do, we
are staggeringly amazed at how wonderful it is and why we took so long
to do it.
On this topic, I have noticed that those who find it hard to forgive others also find it had to forgive themselves.
5. Set aside time for fun.
I am impressed by people who work hard but I am suspicious of
workaholics. People who do not have time to simply enjoy or loosen up
are on an unsustainable path. Sooner or later, stress and pressure can
suck the life out of them and they lose the capacity to feel, laugh or
be fascinated by anything. You can tell you are a workaholic not only
by the fact that you are always working but also when you equate ALL
your self-esteem with what you do. You are also most likely a person
who likes to be in control at all times because you are always living
up to higher and higher expectations of others and yourself. While it
can be argued that these are the people who raise the bar, I say that
these are the people who end up neurotic and unhappy.
I think it is important to have the ability to drop everything and
slip into fun mode. I subscribe to Gandhi’s view that, ‘There is more
to life than to increase its speed’.
6. Follow your bliss.
This is Joseph Campbell’s advice to anyone who wants to have a
meaningful existence. ‘Follow your bliss and doors will open where
there were no doors before.’ And not only will these doors open, they
will open only for you.
Underlying this is the belief that once we decide to pursue what our
passion is, the unfolding of life becomes more compatible with what we
need to do. Resources appear and the people we need to direct us to the
bliss become accessible. Do I believe this? Absolutely. For me, these
are not just words from some tooth fairy but real experiences that
keep on happening. A whole lot of my life is testimony to this. In
short, what will make you happy is what you are probably meant to do in
the first place. I am not talking of a shallow pursuit of mindless
kicks but the consciously chosen option to say yes to that which gives
us joy and makes life’s pain not just bearable but worth it.
So whether we are staring at the hill, standing on top of it, or
have gone over it, there are habits we can still pick up that can give
us not just more mileage for the journey but a purpose for traveling in
the first place, which is to enjoy the scenery.
* * *
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